• Jessica Windham

CONFIDENCE....CREATE A TOUGH SHELL






The quiet girl may be what you knew me as if you went school with me growing up. Obviously, not if you were my close friend with whom I felt comfortable around or my immediate family, I never shut up! Well, obviously some things in life come from within your genetic personality traits and others from other outside factors. What I can remember is that I always was “shy”, or at least that is what I thought. I also can tell you that starting in about 3rd or 4th grade I always wanted traits I did not have. I didn’t like being tall, wanted bigger boobs, less tan complexion, etc. I lost an older sister to suicide when I was in 6th grade. I was so scared to go back to school after her death for fear of people judging me and my family. I grew up very introverted and didn’t’ talk much about my inner, deeper feelings. I also know that even through all my high-school years and college years and even after college I probably did not have the best self- esteem. I was constantly hard on myself and never really had huge boosts of positivity from anyone in my life. I struggled feeling like I always wanted to fit in and be comfortable and confident, but just didn’t. I have always felt uncomfortable walking through large crowds or a restaurant or walking up to communion at church or huge classrooms full of people because I feel like everyone is looking at me. Let’s fast forward and get to the point. I don’t think I’m the only one in this world with insecurities. What I have felt my entire life, probably could have been even worse if social media would have been around the entire span of time. Needless to say, in more recent years I still find myself frustrated and hard on myself due to social media. So what I’m here to do is help people open up their eyes to what has helped me come out from my shell and create a tougher shell. One word for me: John. Without going into a lengthy, mushy blog I just want to emphasize how important it is to:

  1. Surround yourself with people who focus on positive things in life

  2. Workout and eat a healthy and balanced diet because it really makes a difference in your energy and self-confidence.

  3. Step outside your comfort zone. It really helps you feel accomplished and empowered.

  4. Distance yourself from those who bring you down or bring on negative energy.

  5. Focus each day on your positives.

  6. Compliment others instead of criticizing.

Parenting is just about 6 years new to me. My boys are still young at the ages of 2, 4, and 6. While they are so young, you can already start to see personalities. Let’s just say we have a family history on both sides of depression. This sounds silly to some, but as a parent it is normal to worry right? In a nut shell, I feel like what I had growing up was a lot of support, but not much communication. I, as an insecure girl who lived in a “soft shell”……. honestly needed help creating my “tough shell”. We should channel our child’s guidance in this tough world full of negativity and increases in social media. My husband and I have decided to try and build our boys “shells” up. Here are a few things we are hoping would help them throughout life that I think probably could have helped me:

  1. Constantly tell them “Never give up, never quit”.

  2. Push them to always be leaders NOT followers.

  3. Tell them how you feel, how proud you are of them.

  4. Address things they are not doing well at, but then come back with a positive thing going on in their lives.

  5. Communicate and be in tune with their mood and life in general.

  6. Don’t assume, ASK!

Coming out of my shell and creating a tougher shell is still a work in progress for me and now also an important component in raising kids in a tough world. Surround yourself and all those you love with positivity, because while you only see a person’s outside shell, you may never ever know what is inside of that shell……


This blog reflects my own opinions and reviews.


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